Your Mind Is Your Home: How To Truly Love Yourself

What is self-love, truly?

In the last decade, the term ‘self-love’ has gained popularity and normalcy—but what does loving yourself really mean?

As someone who has been on both sides of the spectrum—struggling with an eating disorder and absolutely hating myself, to actively cultivating a healthy relationship with myself—I feel what I have to say about self-love is of value.

Self-love is not just chocolate and bubble baths—although I do love both of these things! Corporations pedal us products marketed with buzzwords such as ‘self-love’, ‘self-care’ and ‘treat yourself’. But, when we buy these things, are we really practising self-love? Are we really taking care of ourselves? Or are we just helping some white man take home a seven-figure salary?

It is totally okay to enjoy these luxuries—please do! As a hygge practitioner, I have plenty of these simple luxuries: fluffy blankets, scented candles, aromatic teas and delicious baked goods, to name a few.

But, ultimately, I know acquiring material possessions will not yield true happiness. Nor will collecting worldly treasures improve my relationship with myself. And learning to love yourself is, essentially, learning how to relate with yourself.

And learning how to relate with yourself is the most important thing, the most foundational thing. Research shows that the quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. Well, what about your relationship with that person you are destined to be with, always, until your dying breath? You.

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The Trial of Titania Brown

“Greetings, folk of the Solar Kingdom. Today we gather for the trial of Misses Titania Brown, a mundane—or so she was sentenced to be!”

As Sola made his little speech, Titania shut her eyes tightly. She had never exactly been one for Divination or Metaphysical Magic, but she had to communicate with the Cosmos, beg the divine to just let her die.

“Yes, she was sentenced to a mundane life,” Sola continued, “as she was not deemed royal by the Cosmos, nor was she deemed noble. She is a giantess after all…”

At this, the Solar folk jeered:

“Disgusting giant!”

“A tainted folkian breed, indeed! Just filthy!”

“The giant race is too stupid to work with the Craft!”

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Why I Stopped Wearing Makeup

For many women and AFAB folk, makeup is part of their daily ritual—and, for some, even a creative outlet. But, recently, more and more of us are rejecting the notion that we must wear makeup to look ‘attractive’—or, more offensively, ‘presentable’ and ‘professional’. If a woman or an AFAB person chooses to adorn themselves with makeup, then this can be an empowering habit. But the expectation that we must alter our appearance in order to be ‘good enough’—‘worthy’—this is patriarchal, misogynistic and, above all, toxic.

As for myself, I have experimented with makeup in a wide range of ways, from treating my face as a canvas, to practising a simplified and curated daily ritual, to, most radically, neglecting or rejecting makeup altogether. More recently, I have found myself happiest showing my bare face to the world, and this essay will explore why this is so.

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