The speakeasy roared with jazz; the blasting of brass instruments filled the ears of the people on the dance floor. And for Charlotte, they filled the hole in her soul as well. She was out for a night of drinking with her boyfriend, John, and she was ready to, once again, forget her troubles. Yes, the flapper was ready to let the music and the spirits and the cocaine numb her.
And afterward, during the early hours of the morning, when the party had finally died down, her and John would polish the night off with some wild sex. This might simply mean a night of rope play—or, if Charlotte and John were lucky, it might mean bringing another girl home with them—or, if they were really lucky, another couple girls. The most they had ever managed was two, but both Charlotte and John wanted to try for three. They wanted to test the limit, see how many ladies they could pick up at once. (Much to Charlotte’s dismay however, John was completely opposed to the notion of bringing home another man.)
John, who had gone off to fetch their drinks, returned. He passed Charlotte a gin on the rocks, her favourite. As for himself, he was drinking a Bee’s Knees—a very popular gin beverage, one with lemon, and of course, honey, hence the name. Charlotte, however, preferred her gin straight.
Continue reading “The Haunting of the Flapper”
They do surgery in the Capitol, to make people appear younger and thinner. In District 12, looking old is something of an achievement since so many people die early. You see an elderly person, you want to congratulate them on their longevity, ask the secret of their survival. A plump person is envied because they aren’t scraping by like the majority of us. But here it is different. Wrinkles aren’t desirable. A round belly isn’t a sign of success.”
Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games
In our first-world culture, we equate youth with health and beauty, and we see youth as something that ought to be preserved, at all costs. Likewise, we see age as something that ought to be avoided. Women especially are encouraged to avoid ageing, for not only are we seen as less beautiful as we age, but society also tells us that the very thing we are most valuable for is our beauty, not our creativity, intelligence or strength of character. No, if you identify as a woman, forget all that, for it will not matter if you are not beautiful.
Continue reading “Mother, Maiden, Crone: A New Perspective On Ageing”
What is self-love, truly?
In the last decade, the term ‘self-love’ has gained popularity and normalcy—but what does loving yourself really mean?
As someone who has been on both sides of the spectrum—struggling with an eating disorder and absolutely hating myself, to actively cultivating a healthy relationship with myself—I feel what I have to say about self-love is of value.
Self-love is not just chocolate and bubble baths—although I do love both of these things! Corporations pedal us products marketed with buzzwords such as ‘self-love’, ‘self-care’ and ‘treat yourself’. But, when we buy these things, are we really practising self-love? Are we really taking care of ourselves? Or are we just helping some white man take home a seven-figure salary?
It is totally okay to enjoy these luxuries—please do! As a hygge practitioner, I have plenty of these simple luxuries: fluffy blankets, scented candles, aromatic teas and delicious baked goods, to name a few.
But, ultimately, I know acquiring material possessions will not yield true happiness. Nor will collecting worldly treasures improve my relationship with myself. And learning to love yourself is, essentially, learning how to relate with yourself.
And learning how to relate with yourself is the most important thing, the most foundational thing. Research shows that the quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. Well, what about your relationship with that person you are destined to be with, always, until your dying breath? You.
Continue reading “Your Mind Is Your Home: How To Truly Love Yourself”