They do surgery in the Capitol, to make people appear younger and thinner. In District 12, looking old is something of an achievement since so many people die early. You see an elderly person, you want to congratulate them on their longevity, ask the secret of their survival. A plump person is envied because they aren’t scraping by like the majority of us. But here it is different. Wrinkles aren’t desirable. A round belly isn’t a sign of success.”
Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games
In our first-world culture, we equate youth with health and beauty, and we see youth as something that ought to be preserved, at all costs. Likewise, we see age as something that ought to be avoided. Women especially are encouraged to avoid ageing, for not only are we seen as less beautiful as we age, but society also tells us that the very thing we are most valuable for is our beauty, not our creativity, intelligence or strength of character. No, if you identify as a woman, forget all that, for it will not matter if you are not beautiful.
Continue reading “Mother, Maiden, Crone: A New Perspective On Ageing”
Saturn Versus Jupiter
In 2020, my Saturn Return began, as did my journey cultivating discipline.
For those unfamiliar with Astrology, a Saturn Return occurs when Saturn cycles back into—or ‘returns’ to—the sign it was in on the day you were born. It takes Saturn roughly twenty-nine and a half years to transition through all twelve signs of the zodiac, so most Earthlings will experience two, maybe three, Saturn Returns in their lifetime.
Now, because Saturn rules discipline, a Saturn Return is typically a time of cultivating discipline. Specifically, a first Saturn Return is a time during which one is invited to make the journey from youth to adulthood, into true adulthood.
Speaking for myself, there are many ways in which my first Saturn Return—which only ended this past Spring—shaped me. But the one particular way Saturn influenced me that applies to this essay is how Saturn taught me to take a disciplined approach to my writing…
Continue reading “I Attempted To Write A Short Story Everyday For Thirty Days—And This Is What The Experience Taught Me”
Author’s note: This is a personal essay, written from my individual experience. While psychiatric medication has not proven itself to be an effective treatment for my particular case of borderline personality disorder, I want to acknowledge that it is an effective treatment for many. And even though I consider myself to have been failed by our medical system, I want to make it known that I am not against Western medicine. And I certainly do not recommend that anyone reading this stop taking their medication without first talking to their doctor.
Winter of 2011
“I don’t think you have bipolar disorder,” my at-the-time boyfriend says to me.
His claims are ridiculous. How could I not have bipolar? I have been struggling with depression for years, but despite being depressed I have an abundance of energy. Besides, bipolar II disorder is what the psychiatrist diagnosed me with, so certainly this diagnosis is correct.
Still, I entertain my boyfriend’s delusions: “Okay… why do you think I don’t have bipolar?” I do not hide the skepticism in my voice.
“Because,” he continues, a bit frantically, “I think what you actually have is borderline personality disorder.”
And he pulls up the symptoms. I read through them, expecting to disagree. I am shocked, however, that I do not disagree.
Continue reading “How Borderline Personality Disorder Manifests In Me”